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KUWTK Recap: Body Dysmorphia

Keeping Up With The Kardashians | Season 14, Episode 3

To be honest, this episode of Keeping Up was pretty draining. However it is my duty to recap the good, the bad and the messy. I've even recapped this season of The Real Housewives of Orange County and it is more painful to watch than Mariah Carey trying to sing at New Years Eve.

We started off with the infamous Met Gala. Kim, Kendall and Kylie all attended and Kim stressed out about her aesthetics the entire time. She even made some poor assistant blow dry an invisible cress out of her dress in the van on the way to the Met, which blew a fuse in the van. The drama of it all. Needless to say, I was not here for it. I hate seeing people complain about their looks, especially when they are as hot as Kim Kardashian. She was still stressed about the Mexico bikini photos that came out last week. This level of obsession that she has for her body to be so skinny is not healthy. The girls were out to lunch and their mom said she can't eat because she has to "fit into her dress." Even though they aren't aware, Kris subconsciously passed her body issues down to Kim and let's just hope that Kim doesn't give them to North.

Kim complained about her body for nearly the entire hour and I understand that she is anxious because of the constant pressure she feels but I'm watching this show to see fighting and house porn, not to watch Kim bitch about TMZ's latest story. This is very season 3. To try and combat Kim's body dysmorphia the girls and Jonathan (for some reason) decided to block all the bad sites from her phone. The only thing worse than hearing Kim complain is seeing Jonathan Cheban on my screen. Is he mad? Is he angry? I can't tell because his face is that full of botox that I'm not even sure if he can cry. Someone needs to take him over to Botched so he can sort out his shit. Anyway Kim said she would try to stay offline but she has a Macbook, so I'm guessing she was googling her cellulite pics as soon as she got home.

Kourtney also has a new man. I'm guessing it's Younes. She was being very shady for the entire episode and Khloe babysat the kids while Kourtney had an all nighter of sex. When she brought her kids to sleep at Khloe's they all had matching onesies and all act like babies. Seriously Mason is 7, but I could swear that he is 4 and a half. Kourt worked out with Kim and Khloe the morning after and performed her walk of shame, still with a full face of makeup. She didn't spill too many details and I feel like we won't be seeing her new boo on the show anytime soon. Sad face.

Umm, did anything else happen in this episode? Oh, Khloe and Kris repeated their same old storyline of trying to hang out. Khloe kept trying to find time to "bond" with her mom, but Kris had no time to sit around and bake cookies with Khlo. Literally she couldn't even wait 20 minutes for the brownies to cook. It felt like Kris would rather rip off her own fingernail than spend a minute alone with Khloe. Finally by the end of the episode Khloe managed to save her mother's her finger nail and the girls went to a wine tasting. Naturally in true Kardashian fashion, Kris got drunk and started prank calling people in an accent that slipped between American and British. Kris Jenner really is the unsung hero of the Kardashian family.

Keeping Up With The Kardashians airs Sunday at 9/8c on E! Stay tuned at Good Tea for our shady recaps and exclusive tea on reality TV's first family!

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