RHOA Premiere Recap: 50 Shades of Cynthia
The Georgia peaches are back for the tenth time and they were giving me all the life I needed. Shade was thrown and wigs were worn in this epic premiere. Of course we were missing a classic Housewives stable - the taglines! There must be some major last minute problems over at Bravo HQ, but luckily they did provide us with a new opening lineup where the girls are standing holding their peaches, similar to New York and Potomac. YAS QUEENS!
The episode started with Kandi visiting her booming restaurant OLG. That was Miss Burruss' fuck you to all the haters after RapeGate last year. Kandi is cashing the OLG checks while Shady Phae Phae is selling her houses to make money. Looks like Kandi came out the winner in this situation. As we all know she is reuniting with her girl group Xscape (hence the spinoff that aired right after RHOA) and she is facing the age old Housewives storyline: career vs children. I don't think Kandi will be doing a lot this season, but she deserves it after the D-R-A-M-A she went through last year!
Over at Lake Bailey, Cynthia set the stage for NeNe to make her triumphant return to the show. She was only gone for a season so I don't understand the extra-ness of her return. Miss Leakes was over the top and clearly acting, if this is the NeNe we get then I don't want her. BLOOP! Cynthia and NeNe dished about Kenya's surprise marriage before Miss Twirl arrived at Lake Bailey as well. NeNe was sceptical about Kenya's new man and it didn't help matters that Kenya would only describe her husband as "Baby." Really Twirl? People are going to question her when she is being SO secretive. I think her marriage is real and I think there is a lot of behind the scenes drama that is the real reason Miss Moore is being shady. Well it's Mrs Daly now!
While the girls sipped tea about Kenya's new marriage, Porsha was over at her house struggling to keep her peach. Let's be real, Porsha's only friend on the show is Sheree and that is because Sheree can't pass up a check, she needs to pay for the Chateau! Porsha spilled the tea that she hasn't forgiven Phaedra from the reunion. I feel for Porsha because she was close friends with Shady Phae Phae but she can't blame the whole situation on her, it was still Porsha's big mouth that spread those rumours all over Atlanta!
NeNe invited Sheree over to her boutique Swagg where the OG's spilled all the tea. I like seeing these two as friends but I have a feeling it won't last long. NeNe confessed that she is mad at Porsha because she tried to give her advice and she wouldn't take it at the season 8 reunion. Of course, Sheree carried those bones and took them right on over to Miss Williams. Porsha said that she was mad at NeNe for her WWHL interview where she said "Freak & Fraud" should be fired. This episode was very flashback heavy and I loved it! Who doesn't love a good flashback?
This is a REACH of a beef if I've ever seen one. I think these two haven't been feeling each other since NeNe's surprise return in Jamaica and they have both shaded each other in the press. No one is right here.
After a little shade was thrown and some tea was spilled, the stage was set for Cynthia's 50 Cynt birthday party, where all the guests had to dress as different versions of her. You know I LOVE a theme! Cynthia had celebrated her birthday months ago but I guess that the producers needed an idea for the premiere. Cynthia was getting ready and I think we saw her natural hair for the first time in YEARS! It was nice, but keep to the wigs Cynthia. She called Peter and asked if he wanted to come but he said no, I guess this is the first time Peter has declined a camera appearance. All the ladies arrived in their own Cynthia Bailey looks and they were ICONIC, especially on that red carpet. These ladies know how to work!
Kandi arrived at the party and had a bone to pick with Kenya about her wedding, I would be pissed too if I had to hear that my friend got married from the blogs. Now that is shady. Porsha walked in to the party with her Cynthia afro and hugged everyone except NeNe and even gave Kandi a hug. The mess. After all the guests were there, Cynthia hosted a very bootleg costume contest where Miss Burruss won for the coke cans in her hair. She won a random trophy and I don't think it will end up in her trophy cabinet next to her Grammy. Catch that shade!
Kandi tried to keep her distance from Porsha who was acting fake as fuck during the entire party. Did this bitch forgot that she called Kandi a rapist? Sheree tried to get NeNe and Porsha to talk it out but the OG wasn't ready to deal with this beef. Suddenly NeNe came back to have a conversation but Porsha was focusing on the WWHL interview and not the two years of "problems" that they had been having. Before too long NeNe stormed out of the party leaving Kandi singing happy birthday and giving us a massive taste for what is to come this season. I AM READY!
The Real Housewives of Atlanta premieres Sunday at 9/8c on Bravo. Stay tuned at Good Tea for our shady recaps and exclusive tea on our favourite Georgia Peaches.