RHOA Recap: Wig Is Back
The episode started with NeNe and Gregg (yes, two g's) coming back from the hospital. It turns out that Gregg has the same problem that his father had which included his heart literally stopping, so this shit is serious. It was so serious that NeNe didn't even bother to put on any makeup, now that's when you know. To cheer up her sick husband, NeNe decided to throw a Girls and Gays All White Party. Mmmm, sounds like the party might be more for her.
She by Sheree had a meeting with her "life coach" Jack Daniels and her braids were freshly sewed in her head. Even though her abuse situation aired MONTHS ago, she still hasn't talked to her kids about it. Maybe Sheree couldn't pay her cable bill at the Chateau and that's how she's kept her kids in the dark. Jack Daniels told Sheree that along with telling her kids, she also needs to do something for herself. In Sheree's brain, she interpreted that as a girls trip to San Fran. I am ready.
Miss Burruss has been a little MIA this season, on account of Xscape but she took the cameras to her photoshoot for Essence magazine. You only get to be on Essence magazine if you are an elite African American in the entertainment industry and Kandi is holding that title strong. I swear NeNe and Cynthia have been on the cover at some point as well. Little Miss Kandi slayed in a little bob with blonde tips which was amazing. Now that her assistant Carmon has left the Kandi Koated Klick, she is in need of a new assistant to help run her life because Don Juan is not cutting it.
Porsha was also in this episode, but I don't want to give her any attention by talking about her. She finally made up with sister which is a situation which seems extremely fishy to me. No one will film with Porsha's lopsided body so she had to pick a fight with her sister to stay relevant. Ugh. The sisters made up and are continuing to work together on her wig line or whatever. My care factor for Miss Williams is a big fat zero!
Before Mrs Leakes big gay white party, she decided to invite her close friends over to spill some tea and throw some shade before the big night. Of course the conversation managed to walk over to talk about Porsha who NeNe did not invite to her party because Porsha said that she never went to NeNe's house, when though the rich bitch has the receipts of Porsha in her house. Damn, NeNe may be in her 50's but she is still petty as fuck. Porsha also reached out to NeNe to have a sit-down (and keep her peach) but NeNe declined. This beef is so dumb. NeNe's two friends all but gave her ass a rim job because they were hanging on her every word.
While NeNe was spilling the tea, Atlanta's worst server was doing a spin class with Kenya. These two have a had a rocky relationship but I guess Sheree's violence situation and the possibility of a check has inspired these two to have a friendship. The two girls rode their spin bikes in a dark, disco style class and shaded the hell out of each others bodies at the same time. After the girls were worked out they agreed to be a apart of a domestic violence charity together. Who hit Kenya? Was it Matt or am I missing something? Sheree agreed to take part but SHE NEEDS TO TELL HER KIDS FIRST!
Cynthia is still dating Will, her light skin boyfriend. After the couple made the worker at the ice cream store uncomfortable by their sex jokes they sat down and actually ate the ice cream. Will is still adjusting to all the blog stories about him coming out, which 50 Cynt told him he needs to get used to. After a BORING date, Will hinted at the possibility of him going over to Lake Bailey. Now that Noelle is in Charlotte, I guess Cynthia can have her gentlemen callers over at all hours of the night.
The scene was finally set for NeNe's controversial Girls & Gays All White Never Forget Seafood Party. Yep, the was the whole name. I have no idea what they aren't forgetting but maybe it was hinting at all of the characters from Atlanta's past that showed up. Lisa Wu, Marlo, Derek J and Kim Zolciak were ALL in attendance (even though Kim didn't get an invite.) Diva Marlo headed over to Casa Leakes before the party and surprisingly the two are on good terms. Apparently they saw each other at the mall and started fighting, but now they have sorted out their issue. Wasn't their issue Kenya?
While Marlo and NeNe were getting reacquainted, Sheree went over to Kim Zolciak's mansion to bring another old face back to the show. This scene only went for five minutes but there was SO much trash talking. Isn't this the girl that only likes positive energy? Sheree established that she can get away with inviting Kim because she used to be her gay friend. Never forget DJ Tracey. Kim spilled the tea that she saw NeNe at the mall in a handicapped park but they didn't say hi? I don't know, that story didn't make sense. Also, why is NeNe bumping into so many people at the mall? Kim pretended to not remember Kenya's name. Ugh, I can't with the acting. Miss Wig also spilled the tea that Kenya married a fan. Well who are her shady sources?
Over at the party, everybody was kiki-ing but this party seemed boring as fuck. Y'all know that Lisa Wu's boring ass isn't going to bring anything to this show. I don't even think she got a word out. Kim finally made her uninvited appearance at the party to NeNe's surprise and all the ladies went inside. They sat on NeNe's couches which look like the only furniture in the damn house - but okay.
It wasn't long before Marlo brought up Kenya's marriage and Kim started mouthing off saying that he doesn't exist. Wait didn't she say Kenya married a fan? Why is Wig speaking out both sides of her mouth? Miss Moore clapped all the way back and said something about Kim being transgender which was obviously a preprepared read, but I was here for it. After the two women threw petty jabs at each other about their botched surgeries, husbands, fake hair etc. Kenya pulled a Kim Jon Un and DROPPED THE BOMB that Kim pimps her daughter out for John Legend tickets. This set the mama bear off and nearly caused a physical fight before Bravo left us with that "To Be Continued" mess. Where was Porsha at? We all know she loves a fight.
The Real Housewives of Atlanta airs Sundays at 8/7c on Bravo. Stay tuned at Good Tea for our shady recaps and exclusive tea on our favourite Georgia peaches.