Every Real Housewives Newbie of 2017, Ranked!


Each year Bravo gifts us with a lineup of new housewives who are designed to freshen up their franchise and offer new dynamics to a potentially stale cast. The ladies who are willing to live their life in front of the cameras, can become one liner powerhouses and rival the longstanding women on the show or they can fizzle out after 1 season and head over to WEtv where failed housewives go to die. This year we had an array of women from all walks of life. From a Texan business mogul, to a former tabloid sensation, glorified sugar babies and even a 50-year-old pigtailed woman. Here is our power ranking of the newbies of 2017. We started our ranking with shows that aired the majority of the season in this year, so Dorit Kemsley is the RHOBH rookie that we'll be ranking.

7. Peggy Sulahian (Orange County)

Peggy. Peggy. Peggy. Where do I start? It seems like the newest RHOC never really got off the ground. Her jokes never hit and the language barrier made it hard for the women to interact with her and for the audience to understand what she was talking about - and this is a woman who majored in english. Go figure. During her season on the show, it didn't even seem like she had an interest in actually being with the women and spend most of the time venting to her husband and butchering commonly known phrases. I mean this woman didn't even understand that Santa gives bad kids coal. Really?

The Armenian Alexis Bellino​ managed to get sucked into the OC's raging obsession with fake cancer and her inability to speak the english language didn't help her case. Her main storyline was the fact that she had cancer, got a double mastectomy, then said she didn't have cancer and then said she did. Are you confused? She was also extremely co dependant on her sugar daddy/husband who clearly wanted an orange more than she did. Let's just be glad that we never have to see her boring ass on TV again, because there is 0% chance that she's coming back.

6. Kameron Westcott (Dallas)

This pink obsessed Dallas newbie was definitely not a fan favourite this season. This Elle Woods wannabe better belongs in an addiction facility for colours than on reality TV. Kameron's main storyline was starting her pink dog food company which her hobbit husband fronted all of the money for. I guess you can achieve your dreams if you have a wealthy sugar daddy to back you.

The blonde bombshell also became widely unpopular when she acted like a prude for the entire season towards Brandi and Stephanie, and then ran away from a dildo on the beach. Ugh. You shouldn't be a real housewife if you don't have some kind of freak number. I mean even the Countess let her freak flag fly. When the reunion rolled around Kameron managed to use her quick wit to throw in some epic one liners which could help to secure her spot for season three. The jury is still out, but if Miss Westcott comes back she needs to check her high horse at the door.

5. Dorit Kemsley (Beverly Hills)

If anyone is a human eye roll, it is Dorit Kemsley. Her name alone gave me bad vibes about her, and then she opened her mouth and started speaking in that fake Madonna-esque accent which confirmed my dislike for this newbie. Like many first season housewives, she kept needing to show off her abundance of money and constantly bragged about her house guest Boy George - who was probably there as a victim of Stockholm syndrome.

In many ways Dorit suffers from the same faults that Peggy does: they're fame hungry husbands, the tendency to show off their wealth and their superior attitude. However because it's Beverly Hills, it works for her and she managed to become a cohesive member of the group, even if she did become a pump puppet. Her main storyline was the boring PantyGate drama which everybody was sick of hearing about and she also feuded with Rinna over those stupid drug rumours. Dorit was a well needed addition after the Munchausen drama, but she still has the ability to bloom in season 8.

4. Tinsley Mortimer (New York)

This former New York socialite wasn't the most exciting or controversial lady to join their group, but she brought a different flavour to the cast. Tinsley was introduced as the recently arrested, eyelash obsessed, has-been it girl who happened to be staying in Sonja's infamous townhouse. Her main conflict was over Sonja's jealousy towards her and the obvious Page Six leak. She showed her zero self awareness when she thought her breakup was the most public out of a cast who had nearly all divorced in the media, especially Bethenny who spent four years divorcing Jason "Stalker" Hoppy.

When she wasn't whining in Mexico about a fake tabloid rumour, she was funny and had a superficial, Kardashian-like element that was unseen in the New York realm. Tinsley would probably fit in better as a Beverly Hills housewife but it's refreshing to see her in the big apple. After her very troubled previous relationship, Tinsley managed to find love with a chubby coupon guy, but the two now have an on and off relationship, which will probably be her storyline for the upcoming season.

3. Monique Samuels (Potomac)

The pretentiousness and lukewarm setting of Potomac is the reason that Monique managed to rank so high on our list. This NFL wife brought realness and serious coin to a cast which all pretend to have it all. Monique didn't care what anyone else thought of her and even had her own rapper past which was an unneeded but interesting fact. She is young, pretty and rich which makes her the Black Meghan King Edmonds, but she is actually entertaining and gives good shade.

Her initial conflict was with Gizelle who couldn't bother to get to know Monique and was clearly jealous of the four homes that she successfully owned. Mrs Samuels seems like a girl you can trust and would want to be friends with, but she is also amazing TV. I don't know how she does it. After her first season, she managed to be the realest housewife in Potomac, even if she doesn't actually live in Potomac.

2. Margaret Josephs (New Jersey)

The franchise's first pigtailed housewife managed to rejuvenate the stale New Jersey instalment. While her debut season hasn't finished airing, I'm utterly intrigued by the newest member of the group. She's funny, sarcastic and level headed which is a combination that hasn't really been seen in the garden state before. Margaret burst onto the scene with a scandalous backstory about her affair with the builder who is her now husband, while she also has a million dollar clothing company which she runs from home, with the help of her identical, horny mother Marge Sr.

Although she was introduced by Siggy she became quick friends with Teresa and Melissa which caused her quick wit and sarcastic sense of humour to rub Siggy the wrong way. Margaret's wise ass remarks didn't sit well with sensitive Siggy and created an epic feud to ensue. Like an onion, Margaret's story was layered due to her estrangement to her step kids, who hadn't talked to her since the affair. Overall, Marge ranks so high because she managed to bring something to Jersey that we didn't even know we wanted.

1. D'Andra Simmons (Dallas)

If you are an avid Good Tea reader, then this top spot wouldn't surprise you. D'Andra Simmons was a breath of fresh air after Dallas' boring debut season. Although the Texan lady managed to steer clear of the drama this season, she still made her opinion known and didn't let her BFF LeeAnne get away with any bullshit. D'Andra kept it real but also had the juxtaposition of being a conservative socialite which is a hard act to balance. Just ask Heather Dubrow.

The newbie also had a hot husband, an overindulgent mother and a booming business to hawk which seems to be the perfect trifecta when joining one of these shows. Momma Dee looks like the inspiration for Melissa McCarthy's character in The Boss and she is a true hard ass Southern women who makes sensational reality TV. D'Andra is a real, genuine person but somehow manages to still be entertaining, let's just hope she doesn't become a victim of the season two curse along with Siggy Flicker, Erika Jayne and countless others.

Congratulations D'Andra, you managed to win 2017!

Photo Credit: Bravo