KUWTK Recap: Flour Bomb!
The episode started with Khloe dumping flour all over Kris' head which made her hair look amazing. It was a light brown colour and I seriously think she should keep it that way instead of this platinum blonde mess she's been posting about. I swear this is the 458th time that Khloe has dumped food on Kris and it never gets old.
The three sisters were lounging around in Khloe's enormous closet when she brought up a crazy party that she heard about where their friend got drunk and fingered herself in front of everyone. What the fuck. Now THAT is a Hollywood party. Kim said that Khloe was lying about the fingering while Kourt sat the back and didn't say shit because she was probably flicking her own bean as well. Khloe reminded Kim that she was asleep when the fingering took place and got pissed at her constant need to always say that she's lying. I'm #TeamKhloe on this one.
Later the girls were in the same closet and Khloe was talking about their old Planned Parenthood visit but the other two sisters didn't agree with how Khloe was telling the story and thought she was lying. Well, KhloMoney came out and was railing into Kim who's insisted that Khloe has been a liar for years. Khloe even called her a dipwad, which I have no idea what that means but I'm gonna start using it.
After their blowup, Khloe had lunch with her two twin besties Malika and Khadijah who gave her advice on her feud with Kim. Malika didn't focus on why Kim thinks she's lying but rather why Khloe feels the need to pop off all time with her crazy word vomit. Is it just me or does Malika seem more hood since her stint on Hollywood Divas. Miss Malika went from being the cute BFF next-door to being a shade throwing, finger snapping woman and I am living for it. You do you!
Khloe laughed while listening to a meditation CD in her car and tried to call Kim who told her to call back when she's a nice, decent human being. Damn. Later on Khloe went over to Kim's house to talk out their beef and the sisters agreed not to lash out and give each other the benefit of the doubt. Is it just me or are the Kardashian fights not what they used to be. Remember when Kim called Khloe a troll because she woke her up? Those were the days.
During this LiarGate, Kourtney was at Kim's house giving unsolicited advice on the food that she eats. Ugh. I'm so bored of Kourt's organic, vegan lifestyle. That is SO boring. Who wants to eat dirt? The two sisters agreed to see who is healthier and participated in a sweat test that was very unsuccessful.
The girls then went to Kourtney's doctor and did a blood and urine test to found out who is the healthiest Kardashian once and for all. For some odd reason fame-whore and stage 5 clinger, Jonathan was there and was trying to be all extra when he got his blood test done. Calm down Foodgod. The girls peed in their cups and gave it back to the doctor and it occurred to me that the doctor has had Kardashian pee in his hand. Not a lot of people can say that. Well, I'm sure that most of the rappers and athletes in LA can because those girls are freaky.
The tests came back and just showed that everyone was clean, so THAT wasn't the right test either. After two failed tests, Kourt decided to call over a nutritionist to tell them what is the healthier option. Basically BOTH the sisters are healthy and agreed to just keep living the way they were. Yep, it was an hour that I'll never get back.
Kris also put a tracker in her mom's shoe, followed her around all the time and worried that she was dead, when in actuality she was having tea with friends and didn't want to be bothered by her daughter's annoying voice. Kourt found out about the tracking and made Kris tell MJ who just thought that it was weird. Anything for a storyline though!
Keeping Up With The Kardashians airs Sunday at 9/8c on E! Stay tuned at Good Tea for our shady recaps and exclusive tea on the first family of reality TV.