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KUWTK Recap: Mime After Mime

This episode was the first part of Khloe's pregnancy reveal except that it literally had nothing to do with Khloe or a baby. The second part is airing on Monday, so the Kardashians are still trying to milk this pregnancy for all it's worth. I still have no idea why they needed to air two episodes in one week because it just means more recaps for me. I don't know what's up with my cable but I got this episode uncensored and it was glorious. Once you hear Khloe wearing without the beep, you can't go back.

Kourtney is going to Egypt without her kids but spent the majority of the episode complaining about it. The mother of three wants to keep her life with Younes and her life with her kids seperate, so that means ditching the kids for an expensive vacation with her boy toy every few weeks. Kourt was all set to go but got cold feet when Cousin CiCi told her that she needs to be a mother to those kids. However after Kourtney's chat with Larsa, the indecisive sister realised that she can have both parts of her life, but she just needs a balance. Kourtney went on the trip but of course she didn't bring cameras along with her. That's the typical Kardashian way. We have to hear them whine about a decision for an entire episode and then we don't get to see the outcome. It's like sex without an orgasm!

While Kourt stressed over her potential holiday plans, Khloe and Kim discussed Rob's ugly breakup with their arch nemesis Blac Chyna. I think it would be the understatement of the year to say that this family is happy to see Chyna and her lopsided booty walk out of their lives for good. Khloe said that it was the only positive to come out of this situation and then referred to Chyna as "that girl." Now THAT is some premium shade. They also carefully avoided Rob's revenge porn post which is a disservice to the American people, if you ask me.

As a way to cheer up Kris, who was stressing overtime about Rob's horrible split with his baby mama, Khloe decided to enlist the help of a mime to get Kris out of her funk. Pierre The Mime descended on Calabasas and was locked to Kris side all day. Khloe facetimed Kim to show her the latest prank that they pulled on their mother and Kim called the mime a meme. Could that be anymore on brand? Pierre The Mime accompanied Kris to the bathroom while she peed and put anything he could find in his mouth. Hey, that's something him and Kris have in common! The momager also went grocery shopping with Pierre, and the funniest part of that was the idea that Kris would do her own grocery shopping, but I'll play along. Finally Kris cut herself free and ran away from her new mime friend.

After realising all the laughs that Pierre gave her, Kris dressed up as her own mime and broke into Khloe's house to give her a taste of her own medicine. Fuck, Kris Jenner looks amazing as a mime. Also, when did she grow an ass? Obviously her and Khloe go to the same doctor. Kris ran around Khloe's Calabasas compound where Tristan was in bed in his underwear. It took him a while to realise that his mother-in-law was the one in the mime costume and only then did he comprehend the fucked up family that he was breeding into. Can you imagine that? Lying in bed and having the grandmother of your soon to be baby bouncing around like a fucking mime. Only in the Kardashian family!

Also, Kylie's staffer took a photo of her in her kitchen and somehow the producers thought that we would want to know. Can't Kylie deal with her own employees instead of calling her mom to help? Lips annoys me SO much! We also didn't get any resolution to that storyline which made it even weird! Well one KUWTK episode down and another one to go! See you back here tomorrow for a recap of Khloe's pregnancy reveal - pretend to act shocked when she announces it!

Keeping Up With The Kardashians airs Sunday at 9/8c on E! Stay tuned at Good Tea for our shady recaps and exclusive tea on the first family of reality TV.

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