RHOA Recap: Captain Save-A-Bitch
This episode was the compulsory filler episode needed for the girls to pretend like they are "planning" an overseas trip and invite everybody along, but before we could get to the rehearsed invites, we had to watch the end of Kandi's Essence Cover Party. After Cynthia had already cried and run around shoeless from Eva's tea, Porsha decided it was the perfect time to tell 50 Cynt that her new boyfriend Will had been telling people he was only with her for fame. Poor Cynthia. She got into her car with Will and he managed to fill her head with even more BS, but it's pretty clear now that he's using her to get on a show, Kandi was right all along! If it looks like a duck and walks like a duck - it's a fucking duck!
During the Will madness at the party, Mama Joyce managed to come out of the shadows and invite Porsha to have lunch with her. Oh boy. This is one messy bitch. The fans generally don't like Mama Joyce but I LIVE for her messy tea and shady ways, which Bravo proved by providing us with all her crazy ass flashbacks which range from cussing a bitch out on the phone to throwing her shoe at someone in a bridal dress shop. Porsha confirmed to MJ that she didn't actually believe Kandi was capable of pulling a Bill Cosby but thought she had no reason not to believe her lawyer friend Phaedra Parks, who keep fuelling the rumours and reassuring Porsha that they were true the entire time.
I have to admit, after this meeting I am a little bit #TeamPorsha. She really was ride or die with Phaedra until the very end and took the brunt of all the scrutiny before Phaedra's messy trick was revealed at the reunion. Go Naked should have just used her common sense and not repeated something that her felon loving friend had told her. Even though Porsha managed to win MJ over, I don't think Kandi will ever be her friend again, and rightly so!
NeNe and her headband took 50 Cynt out to dinner to talk to her about the Will drama and correct the mess that Captain Save-A-Bitch Kenya had told her. What is up with their looks? NeNe looks like she's about to join a commune and Cynthia is serving her tired yankee hat-blonde wig look. I'm not feeling it. After the ladies discussed Cynthia's new man acting like her old one, they changed the subject to the Barcelona trip. They are pretending that Cynthia is the one planning the trip with NeNe as her helper, but we all know that this trip was booked and paid for before the ladies even found out about it. 50 Cynt floated the idea of Kim and her wig coming but NeNe shut that down saying she can't come because her husband's leaking booty implant. HA! THE. MESS. OF. IT. ALL. Are we supposed to believe that Kroy's ass is cornbread fed though?
Kenya decided that she's not coming on the trip because of the mess that happened when she went to San Francisco and Houston with the girls, but we all know it's because she didn't want to go away with Kim and Marlo, but I guess this is the excuse Bravo is going with. Twirl was at her doctors to see if she is pregnant with that baby she wants us to believe she's carrying. The doctor's test came back inconclusive so we still don't know if Miss Twirl is pregnant, but at 46 I think it's more likely that a missed period is menopause, not a baby. Does anyone remember that magical scene in RHONY, when Ramona was well over the hill and thought she was pregnant but nope, it was menopause! I love a crossover!
Porsha hosted a vegan eating party to try and convert the girls to veganism before their Barcelona trip, which just sounds like Scientology to me. No bueno. Cynthia and Sheree were the only housewives that attended the meal so Miss Porsha needed to invite the clingers-on Marlo, Shamea and Kim along to fill the seats. Wig arrived at the dinner while Kroy and her kids waited in the car. I guess the whole family is coming along to sit in the car and wait for their mom to wrap filming. After doing some hookah Porsha admitted that the silverware was rented which is so tacky but it's Porsha we're talking about, at least she's being honest.
The girls asked 50 Cynt about her lunch with Peter and wouldn't even let her answer the question before they jumped in with their own opinions. Shut up Wig. Marlo grabbed everyone's attention with her burping and turned the entire conversation around to an entertaining one, in true Marlo Hampton fashion! Kim wants to take Kroy to Barcelona because of her heart condition, ugh. This is taking me back to South Africa with all these excuses. We all know she's not coming because Kenya wouldn't allow it, but let's go along with this Kroy nonsense.
On the way to the airport the girls confirmed that Kenya and Kim both weren't coming. Who even is coming? This cast is dropping like flies on this trip. Next week this show gets back on track and Barcelona takes centre stage.
The Real Housewives of Atlanta airs Sunday at 8/7c on Bravo! Stay tuned at Good Tea for our shady recaps and exclusive tea on our favourite Georgia peaches.