RHOA Finale Recap: Couple Petty Goals
Porsha was with Vivica A. Fox in Atlanta for their play "Two Can Play At The Game" and the only ladies who came out to support her were Cynthia and Kenya. How in the world did Kenya put on makeup and get ready for one of Porsha's events? I really don't know if stranger things have happened. It's funny to me that the only ladies who went out to support Porsha were the two that she has physically assaulted but I guess she is a new person? The play actually seemed really good and I was just upset that they didn't show all of it. And you know that I was LIVING for Kenya's Vivica A. Fox shade. Their Celebrity Apprentice feud was nothing short of iconic and we still don't know if the "low down dirty bird" stole Miss Vivica's phone. Maybe someone should hand her peach because she needs a job right now.
Eva decided to throw a Halloween party and both Kandi & NeNe were surprised to learn that Wig and Go Naked would be invited. Well when it's the finale of a show normally all the ladies have to come out to play so the two girls acting annoyed about everyone getting an invite was faker than Kim's nose, hair, clothes, lips and nails. Do I need to go on?
She by Sheree invited all the ladies over to look at her basement but the only ones willing to make the trip over to Chateau Sheree were Kandi and Cynthia. Is having a party to celebrate your basement a thing that people do? Sheree's basement is bigger than most New York City apartments and I'm assuming that most of her RHOA check went into funding this basement. One woman does not need that much space, especially considering Lie-rone won't be getting out until 2022. How is Sheree gonna spend the next four years without dick?!
After the ladies had a look around her oversized basement, the routine PRIV advertisement came through which has become as common as botox on these Housewives shows. While the 3 girls were getting massages, Sheree did what she does best and spilled the tea to the rest of the ladies that Shamea had told her that Porsha texted her saying not to trust any of the ladies especially Sheree. First of all, why did Shamea have to open her messy mouth and second of all, yeah you can't trust Sheree with anyone. She is committed to her job as the bone carrier and will always try and make some drama happen. Sheree is NOT to be trusted. At least Porsha is smart enough to know that.
The ladies all arrived at Eva & Kandi's Halloween party and they were all SLAYING in their different ways. Porsha and her sister came as zombie brides (shade to Kenya?), Cynthia came as 50 Cynt and was actually a very attractive man. She could have gotten some serious pussy if she had wanted to. Eva and Sheree both came as Cleopatra's which was obviously a shady plot on productions end but Miss Eva The Diva definitely won as the group's best Cleopatra. Marlotta brought her sugar daddy with her and came as B.A.P.S which is some serious throwback shade. Don't you remember all those years back when Kenya wanted Porsha to come to her party as B.A.P.S? Marlo must have been doing her research!
Kenya was a Victoria Secret Angel, Kandi was Pennywise from IT, Kim and her Uber driver were a Playmate Bunny and Hugh Hefner but the best costume was NeNe and Gregg who went as a roach and exterminator. YASSS! SHE WON THE WAR! No matter what Kim says from this point forward, NeNe has won for that outfit alone and Porsha declared her and Gregg to be #CouplePettyGoals. She shut it down! Queen Leakes is back and she is a vengeful bitch! Everyone applauded NeNe's costume while Kim and her Ken Doll of a husband sat in the corner and drank from their dirty red solo cups. She would not get on with Dorito Kemsley!
Aside from the ladies looks the only drama of the night was Sheree being mad at Porsha for saying that she is not trustworthy - which she isn't. The person who looks the worst in this situation is Messy Mea because she should never have carried the bone back to Sheree and showed her private texts with Porsha. Ugh. Someone please escort her out of the building because she is already giving me a migraine. Porsha's sister Lauren tried to step in and defend her sister but the two OGs shut her down. Kim tried to come for Porsha's "character" but Miss P quickly checked Wig and let her know that she can't judge anyone's character. YESS PORSHA! She needs to come back next season from that read alone. After that they realised that they weren't going to get anywhere so all the ladies walked away and their fake friendship was officially over. Just when you thought that Porsha had enough drama for one night, Marlo's messy ass came over to try and instigate some drama like Marlo does best. When Porsha tried to not get into her fourth physical altercation she walked away and Marlo's messy ass followed her all throughout the party. Someone get this woman a peach or even an apricot. We NEED her on the show!
NeNe took Porsha aside to try and get her to make a public apology to the women but Go Naked was not having it. I think she should have just done it once and for all so that all the women could get the fuck off her back because right now her closest allies on the show are NeNe and Kenya which is a complete mind fuck. I would live for a NeNe-Kenya-Porsha alliance though, they are the show's three strongest players and they could slay the motherfucking game if they used their powers with each other and not against each other. To conclude the party and the season, 50 Cynt won the costume competition for becoming a man which was an entertaining end to a very lacklustre season. Now bring on the reunion because no one does a reunion like these Atlanta Housewives do a reunion!
The Real Housewives of Atlanta airs Sunday at 8/7c on Bravo! Stay tuned at Good Tea for our shady recaps and exclusive tea on our favourite Georgia peaches.