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Shade of the Week: Dorito Kemsley & PK

These two are the Giudices in the making.

Dorito Kemsley has already been the recipient of her own shade this year, which is one of my personal favourites and you all need to check it out, but now her AND PK (Phat Kunt) have been given their own Shade of the Week together due to their (multiple) lawsuits which have been publicised in the last few weeks and that hilarious video of Dorito being accosted while running around in her Beverly Beach bikini for scamming her business partner out of his money. That's some serious juice.

I've already covered Dorito's frustrating techniques of interacting with other human beings and tendency to gaslight anyone she manages to fight with (which is why you need to check out the original shade) but now I want to do a deep dive into the couple's faux financial status. We all know those people who go on expensive trips just to post it on their Instagram and wear designer clothes to make us jealous, pretend they are living their best lives when we all know they are renting their McMansions and returning their clothing the next day. The scene of Dorito unwrapping the Hermes plates in her kitchen and then serving that gross beans dish on them will go down as one of the fakest scenes in Housewives history.

PK (allegedly) made his money from sniffing Boy George's dingleberries and other weird financial situations in the UK but I'm not sure where he acting gets his income. Although PK made a large step up from a thirsty faux fame whore in his first season to a tolerable camera shy house husband in his second, he still has an air of wanting the lifestyle of the rich and famous and doing little work to get it. He wants his cake without having to bake it, and Dorito is more than happy to dip her shellac fingernail into the frosting without thinking twice about it.

Through real estate agents and shady insiders, we already know they are renting their house from their friend but that's not a bad thing. If you want to rent, rent. But just be honest and don't try to make the world think you own property in the most expensive zip code in the country when we are all aware that you don't, but that's the problem with Dorito, she's not honest and struggles to own anything. She really needs to attend one of Rinna's "Own It Baby 101" lessons at the Housewives night school along with a course in Teresa Giudice's "Finance for Dummies."

The idea of the couple having sneaky/confusing business deals isn't surprising, however, Dorito's Beverly Beach bikini lawsuit was unexpected. I guess the line was doing well, I don't know, but her business partner, Ryan Horne, who allegedly owned a third of the business is claiming he contributed his own savings into the start-up company and never got any back from Dorito so he's now suing for his coin and a percentage of the profit he is entitled. Of course, PK and Dorito claimed he never gave them any money so maybe they sneakily made sure there was no paper trail of their business deal or maybe all their mess will be exploited through this case.

Ryan could even be lying (which I doubt), but it is just wrong and deceitful for the Kemsleys to operate a business like this, how would Dorito feel if she filmed a season of RHOBH and never got paid? Actually, she would've already been paid in attention and Instagram followers and for her, that's probably enough. The thing which made the lawsuit memorable and even juicer was that hilarious video of Ryan's friend running into Dorito during the recent Housewives cast trip to The Bahamas and yelling at her about the money by the pool while she ran around with her lopsided titties and Lisa Rinna. At first, I felt bad for Dorito who finally escaped the US border where everyone hates her only to wash up in international waters to have someone chase her around a pool but if someone owed me hundreds of thousands of dollars I'd hope my friends would have the balls to act as a temporary debt collector.

Bravo loves to discuss people's lawsuits, especially Lisa Rinna who I hope is messy enough to return to her shit starter role this season because who else is supposed to bring up the lawsuits? Teddi? Maybe she'll try and make it an exercise in accountability but I doubt it. But if someone is being sued and abused about the lawsuit in question while filming a reality show about their life, you would hope the camera crew and producers would be smart enough to make it a plot point of the season. If one lawsuit isn't enough to be a talking point on season nine then you would hope TWO would be. That's right, it's been revealed that is not only Dorito being sued for her messy bikini business but PK is also going to have a day in court over his Las Vegas casino debt.

Basically, he managed to have a $3.6 million gambling debt at a casino and paid off a partial amount, however, through messy financial tricks he tried to evade the debt but once you fuck with Las Vegas poker players they are going to make sure they get their money back and with interest, so now they are suing him for the rest of their money and even want his possessions repoed if he can't make the payments. Does that mean Dorito has to say goodbye to that rose gold Bentley or her two-strong glam squad? No matter how rich you are, the amount of money they owe several people is way too much for them to continue to flaunt their faux wealth and too much for the producers to ignore it on the new season.

If the drama is low on the new season which let's be real it's Beverly Hills, then hopefully the Kemsley's financial and legal fuckery will drive the show. Maybe not to the Joe and Teresa extent because we don't need another couple behind bars but just enough to make people actually want to tune in without falling asleep or watching anyone argue about underwear or stemware. Dorito may be annoying and unaware but she's saving the show one lawsuit at a time. Hey, maybe that could be her tagline?

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