Shade of the Week: Gina Kirschenheiter


This is probably going to be the best day of Gina’s life because I don’t think anyone’s given her the amount of attention I’m about to.

In recent weeks Orange County's New York implant has been all over the news (a term I use very loosely) after she was arrested for driving under the influence. Yes, she could've killed someone and it's such a dumb choice to get behind the wheel when you've had a few too many cocktails, however, I'm more offended at the fact no one ever leaked her mugshot. The best part of a Housewife getting arrested is seeing their drunken mugshot with their messy hair and glazed over eyes. This is what we need and what we deserve. Where the fuck is this mugshot hiding?

Gina has all the makings to be a great Housewife, she's opinionated, divorced and has recent arrest under her belt but somehow she just doesn't work and I don't know why because on paper she is an A-grade Housewife but onscreen she doesn't do shit. All the ladies are coming back for season 14, except potentially not the OG of this entire thing, so Gina and Emily BOTH need to step up their games. They're both nice people but nice doesn't cut it in the reality world and if they can give us more of the glimpses of anger and rage we saw in their debut season, then I think they'll do just fine. Second seasons make or break Housewives and let's hope the hint of fame and thirst to stay on TV drives these two to be messier than Lisa Rinna.

Is it a coincidence Gina got arrested a week before filming began in the OC? Eh. It would make me like her a whole lot more if she got drunk and went for a drive past the police station just to get some attention and a potential storyline for the new season because there is NO WAY we aren't going to hear about it. Do you really think Shannon won't passive-aggressively bring it up to Kelly Dodd and then use it against Gina in a fight? This DUI saved Gina's place on the show and she better start taking some boozy cruises to stay relevant. In the wake of her DUI mishegas, the tabloids have been OBSESSED with her driving history, even if she gets a ticket. You're a Real Housewife of Orange County, are you telling me you don't know your way out of avoiding a ticket? Flash a tit if you have to.

Apparently, she was pulled over in January for not stopping at a stop sign and again for being on her phone only days after her arrest. Do the police just follow her around waiting for something to happen? Maybe it's a good time to start Ubering? Her hot phantom husband ALSO got pulled over for driving past a traffic sign or something? Why is this news? First of all, we've never met the husband and who hasn't gotten a ticket in their life? Maybe, just maybe if he was on the show then he could wiggle his way out of a fine? That's the benefit of reality TV, getting out of a ticket and selling Flat Tummy Tea on Instagram. When you see a Housewife hawking detox tea on social media you know they’re doing well.

There’s really not that much going on with Gina aside from her cassita, DUI and this boring divorce. Maybe she’ll finally bring the husband around cameras this season but even then, I’m not interested. Too little, too late. She does have some kind of beef with Shannon, Vicki and maybe the new girl if she’s lucky but if both her AND Emily can’t deliver this season then they need to be put out on their asses because they’ve been given more than enough chances to deliver us something other than a Mormon husband and/or one that doesn’t show his face around Bravo cameras.

In the future my hopes for Gina are that she gets an Uber account and starts being a messy bitch on the new season with anyone in her direct eye sight because without her phantom husband around she needs the check and the best ways to get a raise on the Housewives are to throw drinks and get involved in someone else’s business that has nothing to do with you. Take notes New York!