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Danielle Staub Engaged Again 10 Days After Finalising Divorce

How the fuck does she do it?

Only 10 days after officially finalising her divorce, PEOPLE announced Danielle Staub is officially engaged for the 21st time. What the actual fuck. How does such a horrible human being manage to convince dozens of men to spend the rest of their lives with her?

The Prostitution Whore's new man is Oliver Maier a duke who owns two castles in the South of France, 15 vineyards and met Danielle after he was dating her friend.

So basically Danielle fucked her friend's boyfriend to become a duchess and even though she's more morally corrupt than Faye Resnick, can you blame her? Danielle went from the cartel to the castle, I don't know what she and her clit piercing have been doing to hook these men in but she needs to start giving lessons or something.

They got engaged Thursday and plan to get married Monday at the Justice of the Peace. She's locking this thing in a week, however, according to Danielle, she didn't want to get engaged again. Ugh. Gag me with a salad fork:

“I wasn’t open to it,” she confesses. “I was ready to just go out with my girlfriends in Manhattan. I didn’t want this.”

For some reason this guy loves her, I'll give it until the new season finishes taping in three months, however, in the meantime Danielle wants to buy her house for her daughters while she spends her days living in New York City/ France with her new victim:

“Most likely we’ll be spending a lot of time in France. We’ll be going to castles and all that, and living in Paris for a certain amount of months out of the year. It’s going to be far different than Jersey, that’s for sure."

Danielle's frenemy Margaret Josephs chimed into the news telling Us Weekly:

“I’m not shocked — cockroaches always survive. She’s going to get her dream come true, spinoff Dirty Danielle. I will not be at the wedding on Monday, but when it’s over, there’s a room for him at my house.”

That basically sums up the entire situation. Danielle Staub is literally the female Dirty John. The duke's ex-girlfriend and Danielle's ex-friend Gina Curko, you know, the woman he was with before Danielle crawled in told the outlet:

"She would steal your boyfriend if you had one. She’d steal anybody’s boyfriend.”

That should've been Danielle's (AKA Beverly's) yearbook quote!

Thoughts? Sound off in the comments!