Britney Spears Responds After Her Restaurant "Meltdown" And Somehow Shrek Is Involved?
LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE!
Unless you've been living under a rock you probably would've heard about Britney Spears' "meltdown" at a restaurant over the weekend. According to TMZ, Britney and her husband Sam Asghari went out for dinner at JOEY Restaurant in Woodland Hills where fans started recording the "Toxic" singer at her table.
In the footage obtained by the outlet, Britney can be seen talking gibberish to herself before she holds her menu over her face when she notices the fans filming her. Before this, her husband allegedly "stormed out" and left her at the table and two minutes after the video took place, Britney left as well, leaving her security guard to pick up the bill.
There are so many things wrong with this. First of all, everyone knows a lot of Brit's issues come from being followed and filmed by the paparazzi and now that everyone has an iPhone, anyone can be a modern-day pap. Not only did the fans record without her consent but they also sent the story to TMZ to earn $200 and cause a media shitstorm for Britney.
The article makes it seem like Sam was fed up with Britney acting "manically" at the dinner and left her there alone, but how do we know he wasn't pulling the car around so they could leave together? It's no secret that Britney struggles with mental health, one glimpse at her Instagram can tell you that, but that doesn't mean she needs to be filmed when she's just trying to eat a fucking meal.
After the article emerged, Britney took to her Instagram and seemingly reacted to the drama. First, she posted a meme of a sexy lady sitting at a table with the quote "They told me I couldn't that's why I did" which makes no sense at all, but Britney posting weird shit to social media isn't exactly breaking news in 2023.
The singer then posted a video of herself dancing to "I Touch Myself" where she flipped the bird, applied makeup and played with her boobs. Again, Britney posting a confusing dancing video to Instagram isn't that surprising either, it's just a fact of life at this point.
We also need to talk about her hair in the video. In the past, Britney's messy extensions have been almost more troubling than her erratic social media presence but in this video, her beachy waves are on point!
Finally, after her cryptic social media responses to the situation, Brit addressed the "meltdown" dinner head-on. Accompanied by a drawing of a little girl pouring maple syrup on pancakes (?) the singer wrote:
"I watched "NATURAL BORN KILLERS" this morning and damn I got ENLIGHTENED ... and HOLY SMOKES SHIT BALLS I'm sure I brought a billion SMILES to me LOOKING LIKE SHREK at a restaurant. Even my best friend couldn't WAIT TO SEND IT TO ME, THEY DON'T THINK TWICE because we are all natural born killers ... I know the news is all hyped about me being a little drunk at a restaurant ... it's like they'll be WATCHING MY EVERY MOVE !!! I'm so flattered they talk about me like a maniac THEN have the balls to talk about all the negative things that happened in my past !!! Honestly it would be safer for me to compliment this world and fuck up because if I become a prophet and don't create history, we might have something y'all... I'm just KIDDING, but it's a good thought I know y'all are rooting for me and all and make sure you check out the shocking Shrek picture of me ... was like damn that's horrific yet there were two pics where I was normal ... either way honestly I know nobody gives a flying fuck what I do !!! I'm just bored writing this paragraph like a damn idiot."
To translate: Britney was drunk at the restaurant and thinks she looked like Shrek in the video. That's all I got people.
At the end of the day, this entire situation is bizarre and inconsequential, so we should just leave the girl alone and let her continue to spin around in her living room and take naked selfies on the beach. Britney definitely has the right to be free and shouldn't be in a controlling conservatorship but at the same time, it's clear she needs some kind of help.
Before the Britney Army comes for me you all need to know Britney Jean Spears is my fucking QUEEN and I have a cardboard cutout in my room to prove it. I campaigned for her to be free, I listen to her music daily and think she's the most iconic artist of our time. However, with that being said we all need to be honest that she's not 100% well.
Thoughts? Sound off in the comments!