RHOBH Recap: Tokyo Hustle
Erika travelled with Rinna to Tokyo this week and, as per usual, brought her glam squad along to give us some epic fashion moments. For someone who sings about giving zero fucks it sure does seem like Miss Jayne does give a few. Rinna landed at the airport in Tokyo to see her daughters swarmed with paparazzi but in actuality it was just two guys with some cameras! Rinna gifted us with a flashback of her 19-year-old head shots and let me just say, money well spent!
I love Lisa Rinna because she is so grateful for every opportunity and she knows how important every job is because it could be your last. Those girls are lucky to have her as their momager because she knows how to hustle and make it happen. Of course she compared her girls to the Kardashians and Hadids which is a little bit of a reach but give it five years and see where they end up.
While her daughters modelled for Vogue, Rinna told Erika about cleaning her side of the street with Dorito and the girls ate Tempura Nemo while an old Asian lady played a guitar in the corner. When in Tokyo! Miss Jayne also gave us a pink moment in a wig which I think her gay fans everywhere are thankful for. Rinna talked about her fears of Deliah moving to New York and the potential chance that she might sexually assaulted in the business which is a scary thing #MeToo.
After their day of eating bland rice and fried fish, Erika joined Rinna and her daughters to eat some real food. Delilah and Amelia fangirled over their Vogue shoot but then quickly started talking about their fascination with watching Trisha Paytas eat on Youtube. I love Rinna's daughters because they are real American teenagers. Bella and Gigi were perfectly sculpted by Yolanda to smile and be polite but Rinna's daughter's watch Youtube and give snarky remarks like the rest of America. The best part of the episode (and maybe the entire season) was when Rinna's daughter told her that her sex book literally taught her how to give a blowjob. Wow. Even Erika Jayne wasn't expecting that one. Who's dick is Delilah sucking? I had no idea that Rinna had her own sex book but I am ordering my own copy from Amazon as I type!
Back in Beverly Hills we were left with the rest of the boring Housewives. I would rather kick it with Erika & Rinna any day of the week then with those fake, stuffy bitches. Teddi realised from tea time at Villa Rosa that every time she's been around Dorito she's been talking trash about Rinna, which was supported with flashbacks. Dorito is too boring to carry her own storyline, so he chooses to drag Rinna through the mud every chance she gets. Get this bitch a drink because she is thirsty! Lisa Rinna is definitely coming off as the winner in this feud!
Lisa Vanderpump got someone to design a jewellery brand for her and now she wants Dorito to be the model. Ugh really? It really pisses me off how LVP never has to get her hands dirty and is allowed to sit back and cash checks for doing nothing for seasons upon seasons, fire the bitch and give her check to someone that actually needs it like Brandi. Dorito was whiney and annoying about posing for Beverly Hills Lifestyle Magazine and was so rude to the makeup artist which just isn't okay. There's nothing I hate more than an entitled, selfish, rich bitch, and that is the perfect description of Dorito Kemsley. And just FYI, calling her Dorito isn't autocorrect, it's shade.
Kyle decided to throw the last dinner party that she could before her house goes into total renovation but of course the power went out. Those producers must have been freaking out, unless it was one of them that pulled the plug on the power. Naturally Dorito complained about having no power even though it didn't affect her in anyway. She kept whinging about it being 100 degrees outside, but what would the power of done? EYE-ROLL!
Without Erika or Rinna present it was a very boring, cringe worthy dinner in Beverly Hills until Dorito got drunk and started talking about her new baby. Stupid PK (which stands for Phat Kunt) said that Camille could be the god father and she said she didn't have a dick or testicles which prompted Dorito to say she wants to invent a strap on called The Camille and randomly called her a stupid cunt in front her new boyfriend. Good job Dorito! Maurico shut the bitch down while Camille raged about Dorito's comments in her beautiful confessionals. Ugh. Please give us season one Camille back because this show is a snooze fest.
The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills airs Tuesday at 9/8c on Bravo! Stay tuned at Good Tea for our shady recaps and exclusive tea on these 90210 ladies.