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RHOBH Recap: Time Management

This episode had more filler than Lisa Rinna's lips. Vanderpump Rules is so much better than RHOBH this season, so maybe they need to upgrade a few of those SURvers to Housewives to try and even out the playing field.

Dorito is reinventing the swimwear line that she retired when she met PK and became his professional sugar baby. The faux British housewife was in her business meeting when she forgot that she had a lunch date with Teddi. The accountability coach believed their date was at 4 and waited for almost an hour while Dorito was busy in her meeting. When Dorito finally called Teddi at 4.50pm, they decided to call it a night because Teddi wanted to see her kids. If someone had stood me up for almost an hour I'd probably be annoyed enough to leave as well. I think when you are close friends, tardy behaviour is acceptable but in a new relationship, it's just rude.

Both girls complained to Kyle about their meeting and now Dorito is changing the narrative to say that she believed they were meeting at 4.30. Is this really what this show has come to? I had to watch at least four meals in one episode where the two girls talked to other people about Dorito's poor time management skills. BRING BRANDI BACK!

Erika only had a brief appearance in this episode and spilled the tea that her 78-year-old husband Tom was in a car crash and broke his ankle. The sex symbol told Kyle and her right hand gay assistant that it was the first time she realised that he could die one day, let's just hope that she's in his will to get everything because she needs enough money to keep her Erika Jayne empire going. Imagine being married to someone who's nearly 80, do you think they even have sex anymore? I'm hoping we get some good scenes out of Erika this year because her and Rinna are the only people saving face on this slowly sinking franchise.

Speaking of Queen Lisa Rinna, she filled in for Kelly Ripa on Live and reminisced about how she almost got her job. Thank the lords above that she didn't because then she wouldn't have joined RHOBH and given us epic moments. Everything happens for a reason! Lisa Rinna has the best life on this show. She's rich, has two modelling daughters, she's married to Harry Fucking Hamlin and is still a successful actress in her own right without this show. Winning!

Kyle is making two new shows "inspired" by her life, which brings the grand total up to three. She definetly has to be making bank at this point. Aside from the floods of money that she will receive, Kyle was sad because she couldn't share the news with her two sisters and cried to Dorito about the passive aggressive relationship. As long as Kim is off the booze I don't think she gives a fuck what Kyle is up to, I think that Kathy Hilton is the one who's pissed at Kyle and was probably even more angry when she saw Kyle talking about their strained relationship on the show again.

After their lunch (there were approximately 87 lunches in this episode) Dorito went back to LVP to spill the tea about Kyle crying. LVP was obviously jealous that Kyle decided to fake cry in front of Dorito instead of her and kept insisting that Kyle and Dorito aren't that close. Fuck me, shut up and sit down Grandma Vanderpump. This is obviously the start of their three way friend war. Side note: Dorito was wearing purple thigh high boots and a baggy white t-shirt which made her look like a cheap Russian hooker who got locked out of her hotel room and couldn't back in. It wasn't a good look and I think that her stylist hates her.

While LVP tried to poke holes in Dorito's friendship with Kyle. Teddi, Camille, Kyle and Lisa Rinna had dinner and the old Camille was back in full force. She was still reeling from Dorito calling her a stupid cunt in front of her new boyfriend and didn't have a problem with calling Dorito out. I LOVE THIS CAMILLE. THANK YOU JESUS! She low-key suggested that she may be an alcoholic and called her self obsessed bottomless pit of BS. Leave to Camille Grammer to say the only entertaining sentence in this whole episode.

Lisa Rinna rocked up late to the dinner fresh from her NYC trip and wasted no time to bring up LVP and Ken's latest lawsuit where a girl claimed that Ken pushed her against the wall. Kyle acted shocked in her dark lipstick but does anyone remember when Ken pushed Yolanda?! Anyone!? Needless to say I think this is going to be the new Munchausen drama and everyone will be annoyed with Rinna for talking about it on camera. This show is running on fumes at this point, let's be real.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills airs Tuesday at 9/8c on Bravo! Stay tuned at Good Tea for our shady recaps and exclusive tea on these 90210 ladies.

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