RHOP Recap: Mime After Mime
I hate how Bravo comes us with these fake excuses to go on the cast trips. We all know travelling to an exotic location has become a stable in every reality show but due to the storyline and progression of the show they have to have "a reason" behind each trip but how do they come up with the bad excuses? Do the producers just sit in a room and brainstorm what excuse they should use? Well, this season it seems like they decided to go with the false storyline that "Monique's husband wants to gift her a birthday present of a trip to France with her friends because she works so hard." HA! Really Bravo? This idea wasn't as bad at RHOC heading to Ireland to meet Meghan's distant relatives or the RHONJ travelling to Milan for Margaret's shoe company but it wasn't the best idea they've had. Are Chris and his Redskin checks paying for this French vacation or is the production company, I see you but for the sake of the show, I guess we'll just have to go along with it.
The one thing that is most annoying about the fake excuses for going on the trips is that the other women have to play into it and make drama out of it even though we all now that they know the real behind the scenes tea about this trip. This time around Gizelle and Robyn decided to decline on their invitation sent by a mime to Cannes because they didn't want to go out of the country with someone they weren't friends with. It's a free trip to France for three days and a check for THREE episodes of the season, if you miss the trip you miss out on a fuck tonne of cash and who wants to do that, ESPECIALLY Robyn because we all know she is in need of a check to keep her townhouse afloat. Monique isn't their friend but who gives a fuck, it's not actually their trip it's Bravo's and the tickets were probably already booked for all of them even before Monique started talking about it on the show.
Everyone would have had their schedules cleared and notified about this trip well in advance so there was no chance that The Green-Eyed Bandits weren't attending, which just shows the stupidity of this beef. Ugh, they're making my eyebrows hurt, that's the pain I feel when Robyn and her dull voice add their annoying two cents to every single argument. After Gizelle discussed not wanting to go on the trip with Mo, she changed her mind and said she would go but only hang out with Robyn which is what she should've done from the beginning, then she went back and reported back to her fellow bandit who immediately changed her mind about everything. Are we supposed to believe that Gizelle doesn't put her arm up Robyn's muscly butt and move her mouth like the puppet that she is?
Can we talk about those mimes for a second? To deliver the Cannes invitations to everyone, Monique enlisted a chubby, elderly male mime to go around to each girl and give them the news in French which was just an effort to be extra when she could've just "announced" the trip at a dinner and let everyone be fake surprised and excited for it. Gizelle & Karen, the two superpowers and differing matriarchs of the show, had lunch to talk out their differences but like usual nothing was resolved. Everybody on this show can give it but can't take it, they all talk shit in their confessionals and throw as much "fun shade" as they can and don't think it's a big deal, however, when the shit talking and shade is pointed back at them they take offence.
They also never want to ever admit they're wrong, Karen wouldn't admit her messy intent behind inviting Sherman's thirsty ex-wife onto the show which was the reason behind the Green-Eyed Bandits storming of the Grand Dame Deficit's charity event. And Gizelle always tries to act "shocked" and laugh off whenever Karen is mad at her which isn't going to help her get those drunk phone calls again anytime soon. I could DIE to get some drunk calls from Miss Huger. These two can never learn to get along because Karen doesn't like when people come for her and prey into her business and Gizelle loves to be messy, the two don't go together which makes their fights so powerful. It's almost like a budget NeNe and Kim, Jill and Ramona, LVP and Kyle or Vicki and Tamra. These two are the Queens of their respective franchise and will probably be the two which hang around the longest so their dynamic and friendship will be the centre stone of the show and this little altercation is just one of the thousands of fights they are bound to have as the two leaders.
There's something about Karen's pretentious attitude, hilarious one-liners and messy lies that make her much more enjoyable to watch. Gizelleh as the self-awareness and the wit to be smart and position her self as the NeNe of this franchise but she wouldn't be able to do that if Karen wasn't so... Karen. Morally yes, I'm on Gizelle's side. It's shitty of her "friends" to bring her ex's ex around to film with them when they know it will cause problems but Karen's execution is so messy and funny that you kind of have to overlook Gizelle's smart stance on the matter when Karen threatens to call security on the mime who just tried to give them their invitations to France. I also feel like Karen's wigs are getting better. Obviously, they can't all be gems but her recent one was more flattering towards her receding hairline and the one thing I don't understand about Mrs Huger is that with a wig you can CHOOSE where it starts and finishes, so why does she want it to start in the middle of her damn head? But I think we are as likely to know the answer to that as we are to get the bottom of her tax situation with the Black Bill Gates and her relationship with Blue Eyes.
Not much else happened, aside from Karen and Gizelle fighting about Sherman's messy ex and the Green-Eyed Bandits trying to play hookey for the Cannes trip, Ashley sang to Michael which could be the next Housewives single if she plays her cards right. Little Miss Messy wrote and performed a nice love song for her kangaroo looking husband and it wasn't that bad. Her voice was nice and it sounded like a typical radio song, if she was smart her storyline for season four would be to start her own "singing career" and maybe perform the song in the finale like many vocally impaired Housewives who have come before her. Why not bring that recycled storyline to Maryland?
Candiace also got a prenup with Brown Dick which was just as boring as it sounds, can't these couples learn to keep their legal shit private? They aren't even getting married in this season so why is she organising her dumb prenup already? If she comes back next season which I'm still on the fence about, we are going to have to watch another season full of sheer stupidity about this wedding, does anyone actually want to submit their eyes to such torture? UGH! I love a cast trip so hopefully the European air with shake things up and continue the beefs among these women next week, because at the end of the day that's why we are tuning in.
The Real Housewives of Potomac airs Sunday at 8/7c on Bravo! Stay tuned at Good Tea for our shady recaps and exclusive tea on these Maryland ladies.