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Southern Charm Reunion Recap: The Lying Game

It's great to see how far this show has come from its days of revolving around the southern Good Ole Boys Club to a show where feminism has taken over and the #MeToo has obviously had a massive impact. Last year, Shep tried to kiss Chelsea, was defended by many of the cast members and rewarded with his own dating show. This year after Thomas Ravenel's rape allegations he was not invited to the reunion and won't be back next season. Obviously, these two incidences are very different but while it's a relief to see how far we've come there is still so much that needs to happen with the ingrained southern mentality of the show.

Once again Patricia boycotted the reunion as Maggie Smith does the Emmys but Andy broke the ice about T-Rav's absence with a statement from his lawyer thanking his fans and excepting to be fully vindicated. What fans? No one likes Thomas. I hate Trashley and she is the absolute worst but times that by ten and you get Thomas Ravenel. As much we all know Trashley isn't mentally there, he is the brains behind the whole operation and she isn't getting these crazy ideas about Kathryn from nowhere, he obviously fuelled the fire and she was dumb enough to play right into it, they really do deserve each other. The cast didn't choose to comment on him. Cam believed it was the right chose, Shep called out his dark side, Kathryn obviously knows where all the bodies are buried and knew about him raping the nanny but she kept her lips shut for the sake of their children and Naomie chose not to comment because he's always been nice to her. What? I'm sure Charles Manson, Hitler and Kanye West are nice to be people that don't excuse his behaviour.

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Due to the Girl Power this season I would've expected Naomie and the entire Pussy Power Pack to stand up and condemn this behaviour but no one had the balls to, even though you can see on their faces they all know what a disgusting human being he is, and after her blowups with JD and Peyton I was disappointed Naomie and her new nose. Speaking of the beached sperm whale JD, Naomie continued to say she was just standing up for Liz because she knew JD would control the narrative on the show and as a result, they don't speak anymore. The men of the group continued to support and defend the sperm whale which just shows the Good Ole Boys system is alive and well along with JD's late-night rendezvous with young girls that the whole cast knew about for years. His cackle and whiskey drinking ways make my skin crawl and I hope he leaves with T-Rat because NO ONE will miss him.

After a season of sitting on the sidelines, Cameron really came through and changed my opinion of her. She was critical of the male control over the show, backtracked on how she had treated Kathryn for all those years and was extremely open about her not feeling that instant love for her baby and maybe (?) suffering a little postpartum depression. It's refreshing to hear about this because there's still an enormous stigma around how mothers should feel towards their children and I'm glad she opened up about it. As bland as Cam has been this season she's logical, educated and down to earth which is why she's been a staple on this show for five seasons now. Her reconciliation with Kathryn literally brought me to tears and I don't think I've cried since I had a nightmare I was trapped in Trashley's body and had to deal with T-Rat flopping around on top of me. Ugh, I'm getting flashbacks. Ever since season one I've been Team Kathryn and I could never understand why Cameran and the rest of the group labelled her as crazy and exiled her from the group when Thomas was just as crazy and destructive, in fact, he was more than twice her age and acting the same.

After five seasons, pushing out a child of her own and probably learning about T-Rav's sexual assault hobby, Cam suddenly had an epiphany about how misunderstood and how mistreated Kathryn had been through the years which made the whole cast cry, including me. The thing that really got to me was when Cameran said that we probably don't even know the half of Thomas' manipulation and treatment of Kathryn - and we don't. She was 21-years-old when this all began and I don't even think we've touched the surface of what went down between these two, we've seen his vicious evil side come out a couple of times when he's drunk but when the cameras are down and his alcoholic ways come out how are we supposed to know what Kathryn went through, on top of getting her children taken away for drug use when he was literally raping women (allegedly) and went to prison FOR DRUGS. The irony is beyond me. Cream always rises to the top and even though it took five fucking years I'm happy that karma has finally been served with rape allegations and an escort named Trashley, she's his REAL punishment.

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Apart from the #MeToo discussion and Cam & Kathryn's reconciliation, the rest of the action just revolved Craig. Bethenny Frankel and Erika Jayne have claimed to give zero fucks but no one has ever given less fucks than Craig Conover at this reunion, he couldn't even find a fuck if he wanted to with his ripped up pillowcase as a makeshift pocket square, which is kind of a metaphor of who Craig is as a human. I don't care what anyone says I'm #TeamCraig. If he wants to sew let the cunt fucking sew, why does anyone else care, unless if you want him to sew something in 3D because apparently, that's not his strong suit. He gave us his bullshit excuse opinion for not believing in deadlines and not wanting to conform to society blah, blah, blah but I don't even think Craig knew what he was saying. He's just lazy and without deadlines, no one would get anything done. I don't know if he was smoking some weed with Andy backstage but he just needs to own his complete lack of follow through and stop lying.

He continued to clash with Naomie and the ex-couple accused each other of lying about their lives for a good portion of the reunion. So are they both liars? However, the drama really went up a notch when they talked about Craig getting jealous of her new boyfriend hanging around Gizmo, which is (kind of) the ultimate betrayal. Naomie was doing what all women do when they in a new relationship and claimed to be the happiest she's ever been and loving life when Craig spilled the juiciest of tea of the season saying the night before she admitted that she doesn't like her new boyfriend anymore. At first, I thought some producer had whispered it in his ear in between takes to get some drama going but KATHRYN was the one who carried the bone back to Craig and corroborated the story. Of course, Naomie denied everything and acted shocked but she is not a good liar and definitely said what she said.

I don't know if it was her saying goodbye to her Barbara nose but I was not feeling Naomie at this reunion at all which is sad because going into it I expected her to be my MVP and I feel sorry for her doctor boo because he is not going to like watching this episode. I feel bad because Craig obviously still loves Naomie (and her old nose) but he claimed to hate her (and her new nose) so they definitely won't be getting back together anytime soon, unless he gets engaged and she realises on the wedding day that she still loves him and crashes the wedding declaring her love for him. Fuck those ratings would be good. Maybe that's what he can expect in season seven because he at least has to meet and propose to a girl in season six unless it's a whole Vegas situation.

While the main cast dissected this seasons drama on the stage, the editors kept giving us creepy insane asylum flashbacks to Trashley who was using her fake nice voice with all the backstage production people and I've near felt more sorry for anyone than I did for the hairstylist who had to stay with her in the makeup room for an extended amount of time. She deserves a medal.

Southern Charm airs Thursday at 9/8c on Bravo! Stay tuned at Good Tea for our exclusive tea and shady recaps on the Charleston gang.