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KUWTK Finale Recap: Trump Card

Let's all rejoice and say thank you to God or whoever does the programming at E! because this season of Keeping Up has finally come to an end. After the girls reignited their civil war at the start of the season of their annual Kristmas card I had high hopes for this season knowing we had several PR wonders to enjoy from Tristan dicking down every THOT this side of the Mississippi to Kanye saying "slavery was a choice" but the big moments were more watered down than a tropical jungle in hurricane season, therefore I think we all deserve a pat on the back and a very strong drink for getting through this painful season.

I was putting up Christmas decorations while watching this mess so I wasn't fully present but none of these women can get through a scene without being glued to their phones, so I think we're even.

There were lots of big-ticket events in this episode but none of them had much substance to dissect. We were given a first-hand look at the infamous TMZ video, Kim's White House meeting, the Met Gala and Kanye's album launch, however, most of those scenes were documented through Snapchat footage and like usual we only saw Kim talking about the issues in her life instead of confronting Kanye about them on camera and giving us something to watch. Like most things, Kim found out about Kanye's TMZ interview while taping her confessionals and later admitted she thought he was having a mental break but actually just gets "riled up" and the press take what it says out of context. Considering Kanye West, an African-American man, said “When you hear about slavery for 400 years … for 400 years? That sounds like a choice" it's pretty hard to interpret that any other way.

Slavery by definition is not a choice, it's literally what the word means so I don't even want to try and get into the semantics of Yeezy's brain. I don't think he's well, his meds definitely need to be adjusted and he does 90% of the things he does for attention so there's nothing more to say about this incident. All we saw was Kim repeat her same bullshit PR catchphrases of saying she doesn't agree with what he said but supports him as his wife. Fair enough, but call him out on camera and give us something. The things he says are recklessly irresponsible and I watched the TMZ interview plenty of times. The media isn't making Kanye look bad, Kanye is making Kanye look bad.

We also saw Kim go on a mission to get Alice Johnson out of prison after she was given life without parole for a non-violent offence. I find it amazing that Alice had a team of lawyers working on her case for ten years and it took a reality star having a meeting with another reality star to finally get her out of prison. What is this world coming to? I mean it's great for Alice and I'm sure she'll be grateful for reality TV for the rest of her life, however, the system is fucked up if it takes a celebrity trying to get someone out of prison after being given a sentence they didn't deserve. Not to get all serious and have a Diane Sawyer moment, but prison reform is needed in America because poor people who are given public defenders are advised to plead guilty to expedite the court process and are given outrageous sentences for crimes they did not commit, or in Alice's case sentenced to life for NOT pleading guilty.

The system is fucked up and although it's going to take a lot more than Kim K and her contour getting one person out of prison, I hope she makes a genuine career out of this and spends her time advocating for time and changing people's lives in a good way instead of taking naked selfies and wearing aggressive bike shorts.

This season has been boring, no one is denying that but it was so heartwarming and tear-jerking to see Kim tell Alice she was finally getting out of prison after being locked up for 21 years. That amount of time for sitting in a cell and not being able to see your family is unfathomable, especially considering she was only in the drug business to support her family. It was nice and refreshing to see the life-changing joy Kim got to give this woman and her entire (massive) family, so I really do hope she continues this storyline and invests her time in meaningful causes like this. The most fascinating moment of this entire episode wasn't seeing Alice get out of prison or Kim trying to not to ruin her makeup by crying, but seeing how this country is actually being run.

After Kim's meeting with Trump was cancelled at the very last minute, she finally went to the White House to meet him and instead of the team of lawyers who have been working on Alice's case for the last decade, it was just she and another woman who helped with the situation that got to have the meeting. In the meeting, they talked about Kanye's Trump support and Khloe appearing on Celebrity Apprentice before Kim brought up the actual issue and he said he was interested in helping out. She doesn't need to condone his policies or politics, which she made clear, but he was the only person in the world who could get Alice out of prison and thank God he did the right thing. However, if Kanye wasn't running around in a Make America Great Again hat, Alice would still be on cell block C.

It was a little disappointing that we didn't get to see Kim and The Donald have their meeting on camera because I'm sure he would've loved to sit down with a TV crew in his face boardroom style. Apart from Kim taking a break from taking nudes to get someone out of prison and standing by her psycho husband we also had to sit through Khloe complaining about "working" away from her daughter.

Shut the fuck up. Khloe Kardashian has the easiest job in the world and more money than a small country, so no part of me cares about hearing her sulk about missing her daughter for a few days. She went on a press tour for less than week so people would buy her products and she could spend endless days playing with her daughter behind the gates of her Calabasas compound and film scenes of her reality show without discussing her actual reality, so tell me why I should feel sorry for her or invest in this storyline? She isn't working four jobs in Oklahoma trying to keep a roof over her daughter's head so take several seats.

I am SO happy this season is over and it may be my last recapping this show. I love the support and shade I've received from you guys regarding my KUWTK recaps and they get amazing views but I've spent this whole season looking for a fuck to give about this tired show and I just can't find one. Hopefully, the family come back next season with the will to actually make decent entertainment or E! fwill inally do the right thing and yank them off the air.

Keeping Up With The Kardashians airs Sundays at 9/8c on E! Stay tuned at Good Tea for our shady recaps and exclusive tea on the first family of reality TV.