Shade of the Week: Ronnie Ortiz-Magro & Jen Harley
I hate everything about this situation and it’s too gross to even warrant a reality TV storyline. It’s Libra Season and as a textbook Libran, I can’t stand this injustice and it makes me so mad to think things like this are actually happening in the world. Ronnie Ortiz-Magro and Jen Harley may think they have some twisted love for each other, but they just don’t.
Whenever there's another Ronnie vs Jen headline in the media, I think it’s fair to say anyone with half a functioning brain lets out a collective sign because their antics are beyond tired at this point, however, Ronnie's latest stunt is genuinely fucked up. Fucked up is an understatement, an abusive toxic dumpster fire fuelled by cocaine is probably the only thing that could come close to describing this clusterfuck of a situation.
Ronnie physically fighting with his baby mama on Instagram seems like a nice day at kindergarten compared to where the “couple” is now. When I first saw the phone fall out of Jen’s hand after a scuffle between the pair almost two years ago, I was shook. It was a toxic, yet juicy moment that stopped everyone in their tracks, however, they’ve somehow managed to reach a new milestone of fuckery with every single altercation they’ve had. I don’t know how it’s possible but they always outdo themselves. Ronnie and Jen evolved from shading each other on social media to fist fighting on Instagram Live, then stepped it up to Jen dragging him with a mother fucking car. Let’s think about that for a second, Ronnie being dragged by a moving vehicle and having a body full of road rash wasn’t even the worst thing these two have gotten up to.
They managed to up the ante by Jen getting arrested for throwing an ashtray and the reality star's face. And finally, in their latest and greatest work yet, Ronnie punched the mother of his child in the face, chased her down the street with a knife (with their baby in their other hand), got into a battle over the child in the street and was tased after the police had to break into their Airbnb. The one common denominator in all their fights is Ronnie’s one true friend: cocaine. If Mexico’s finest delicacy wasn’t going up their noses, do you really think they’d end their nights in a cop car? As toxic as this situation is, we have to give these idiots come credit for taking it two steps further every single time they fight. If you’re going to be in a toxic, abusive and pernicious relationship, you may as well keep your fights spicy enough to peak our interests.
Ronnie and Jen’s relationship is more toxic than the Britney Spears song and I literally can’t think of any other couple who even remotely compares. Of course, a reality TV storyline could be a major factor behind their explosive arguments but these two getting arrested and endangering their infant is too real and too dark to be for thirst purposes. If they were keeping this act up for TV, first of all, they would’ve had their psycho fights on camera, not when nobody is around. And second of all, Ronnie would actually talk about his drama instead of deflecting onto his costars. Obviously, Ron was the most recent one arrested, however, they are both as bad as each other. There’s no winner here, it’s just two coked party animals fighting over nothing and physically harming each other because they hate each other more than Casey Anthony hates children.
This is a cautionary tale of why you don’t get a THOT from Vegas pregnant. You just don’t ever do that. When they met Ronnie was a wild party boy with an aggressive cocaine addiction who cheated on every girlfriend he’s ever had, and Jen was just a Vegas hoe with a skill of getting free drinks and finessing her way through the club scene. Do any of these qualities seem suitable to care for a child? Jen definitely trapped him with a baby to secure that Jersey Shore money and now he’ll be tied to this woman for the rest of his life. Seriously, to any fuckboy reading this, wear a fucking condom or just pull out. Nutting inside a random hoe is like playing Russian roulette and your odds of ending the night without procreating are not strong.
The story of Ron and Jen should be enough to inspire anyone to take up birth control because they’re stuck with each other for the rest of their lives. They have to spend the next 18 years co-parenting and then when that’s finally over, they’ll always have to run into each other at weddings, christenings, Christmas’ and any other lame family event. These two people are tied together FOREVER and that is more disgusting than the thought of having a cocktail with Bill Cosby.
I don’t know a lot of things about parenting, but I do know Las Vegas is definitely the one place where you should never raise a child if you don’t want them to become a stripper or a cokehead. Growing up in Sin City is bad enough but with parents like these, Ariana really has no hope. The pole is already calling her name.
The only way out for these two would be if CPS actually did their job and took that baby away. How much does it take for a child to be taken away from a toxic situation? They’ve done drugs, physically assaulted each other, threatened to kill each other and got arrested all in front of Baby Ariana’s eyes, several times. Seriously, how much more needs to happen before the government steps in? Even having drugs present in front of a baby should be enough to have her taken away because Ronnie definitely only flushed the coke when he heard the sirens coming.
CPS has one fucking job and they’re just blatantly ignoring an issue that all of America is watching? You would think a woman dragging her baby daddy with a car would be enough to get the child put into some child care system, but I guess not. What is wrong with this country? Also, even though Ronnie’s latest rampage featured child endangerment, domestic violence, death threats, drug use, and police resistance, the only thing he managed to get charged with was kidnapping. Kidnapping? Really? Out of everything the police could’ve chosen, they went with fucking kidnapping? Teresa Giudice’s literacy skills make more sense than that. But if you’re charged with kidnapping your own child, you would think CPS would somehow get involved and, you know, do their job?
To be honest, I’m done with seeing this sad situation play out on TV and they really need to step away from the cameras and stop being rewarded for bad behavior, because it’s no longer about them, it’s about a baby. Ronnie and Jen need to break up, communicate their custody schedule through a third party and shut the fuck up. The entire situation is so disgusting to think about and I hope Ronnie saves all his Jersey Shore coins to be able to get his daughter the best therapy money can buy because she’s going to need it.