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RHOA Recap: Tardy For The Party

This NeNe/Cynthia sit down is more overdue than a pregnant woman's period. Sitting down with a former friend who you've had a falling out with is all part of the Real Housewives game, however, why did it take 14 episodes for this to happen? I'm confused. They should've gotten this reconciliation out of the way right from the start of the season because, at this point in the game, it feels more like a formality than a heartfelt moment.

Even though NeNe Leakes has portrayed herself as an unlikeable shit stain of a human being for the last few years, there's a weird part of me that actually wants these two women to be friends again. After seeing all the flashbacks of their old faces signing the friendship contract, it really pulled at my heartstrings and made me forget about how insufferable Linnethia's behavior has been. The entire demise of their friendship was unnecessary. If NeNe didn't choose to end their relationship over such a petty reason, they'd still be kiki-ing over salsa and corn chips, but instead, they're more estranged than Tori Spelling and her mother.

Everything that's gone down has been NeNe's fault. She froze Cynthia out and as a result, 52 Cynt did her job, which is doing press for the show and answering questions about her costars. Were her comments about NeNe nice? No. But were they the truth? Yes. They echoed everything she had already said on the show, so someone needs to explain the big deal to me. NeNe can cry all day long about Cynthia calling her a toxic friend, however, if she didn't treat her like shit for months over Kenya attending a stupid event, then none of this would've ever happened.

The Bailey Wine Cellar is such a confusing business to me and it seems like more of a space for Cynthia to drink with her friends, than it is a place of work. Does anyone actually go into that store inside a mall to purchase wine, when you could just roll up to a Walmart instead?

The women finally talked about their issues in the Bailey Wine Cellar, over salsa in wine glasses and corn chips. I'm not sure if I'm obsessed over the idea of eating salsa out of a wine glass or offended. Doesn't a bowl suffice? NeNe went into the meeting angry about Cynthia calling her a toxic friend. Icing someone out, refusing to talk to them, playing the victim and only keeping people around who kiss your ass is more toxic than the Britney Spears song, so NeNe needs to take a long look in the mirror and evaluate her life choices. Linnethia spent the entire sit down trying to intimidate and manipulate Cynthia into kissing her ass, but 52 Cynt didn't let her "toxic friend" get the better of her.

Cynthia stayed strong and gave an honest answer for everything NeNe threw her way, which caused the Rich Bitch to get up and walk out. Even though NeNe started this entire war, both women said and did hurtful things to the other, and Cynthia, who was the reacter in this situation, accepted responsibility for her actions and was woman enough to say sorry, NeNe, on the other hand, had as much accountability for her actions as Bill Clinton in the 90s. NeNe cried and had a breakdown in the parking lot outside of the wine cellar, which caused Cynthia to come out and apologize to her former friend. Uh, where was NeNe's accountability or apology during this entire conversation?

Not once did the Rich Bitch say "I'm sorry" for one thing and only stopped crying once Cynthia finally said those magic words. So once again, NeNe got away with being an asshole. NeNe can never take responsibility for her own actions, and this behavior, once again proves that she can only have friends in her life who inflate her ego and never challenge her. Mmm, what does that sound like? A narcissist? NeNe was losing the argument, so the only thing she could do was cry and play the victim to manipulate the situation into Cynthia kissing her toes once again.

Also, this whole "different side" to Cynthia clearly doesn't exist. Yes, everyone gets mad, everyone has that side, and if 52 Cynt did have some kind of aggressive alter ego, I'm sure we would've seen it by now. These two agreed they'll never have the same friendship, however, they vowed to move past their issues and build a relationship together. They'll never have the same friendship again because Cynthia will never roll over and be NeNe's lapdog again. She's grown, she's evolved and she's made a place for herself on the show where she no longer needs to be NeNe's sidekick, and if you aren't a loyal minion to Linnethia, then you can't be her friend.

I want to get back to the days where I enjoyed watching NeNe on my screen, however, she's become so negative and combative that there's no fun left in her. Clearly she's dealing with someone in her personal life, aside from Gregg's cancer, that we aren't seeing because no one is that angry all the time for no reason. Something I realized watching this episode, is that NeNe is only happy on this show when she's the Queen Bee, however, due to her alienating the entire cast, which was her decision, she's no longer the HBIC and without everyone groveling beneath her she doesn't want to play the game. As a way to throw the rest of the girls an olive branch and reclaim her Queen Bee status, NeNe decided to throw a Leopard Brunch, which sounds like a cougar speed dating event.

The most frustrating part about watching NeNe reconnect with these ladies is that it didn't need to happen. She was the one who decided to fall out with the rest of the women, and now she's trying to recreate a sisterhood she blew up. You can't choose when your friendships are good and when they're back, which is exactly why it's taken this long into the season for the women to start to give her a second chance. The lateness on this show is insane. The "brunch" started at 2 pm and the host didn't arrive until 4.30. What the actual fuck? The only people on time were Cynthia and Eva, however, after the top model started contractions and gave us a quick cameo from Dr. Jackie, 52 Cynt rushed her off to the hospital.

I don't give a flying fuck about Eva going into labor early. Yes, it would've been scary but if I can't find a quarter of a fuck to give. Eva's boring, dull, lifeless, stale, tired and the human embodiment of a yawn, so the less we see of her, the better. I hope her uterus is doing well though. For almost two and a half hours, Tanya and Kandi had to sit together at the Mexican restaurant making small talk with each other while waiting for the other women. What can you talk about with an acquaintance for two fucking hours? I'm not sure if it's the hair and makeup, Atlanta traffic or just the utter lack of giving a fuck that is making all these women so late to each other's events, but the majority of the cast being tardy for this party would've been a season-long storyline if this was Beverly Hills.

Kenya showed up while Kandi and Tanya were waiting for everyone else and left after seven minutes. Can you imagine putting on a full face of makeup and driving halfway across Atlanta just to leave after seven minutes? An icon. I'm just surprised Kenya turned up to NeNe's event in the first place, even if she only waited the amount of time it takes for Scheana Shay's ex-boyfriend to hang a TV. If that were me, I would've Ubered there, stocked up on the free margaritas Bravo was paying for, and then left happy and drunk at the end of the brunch, whether the host showed up by then or not. Also, does NeNe understand the definition of brunch, because this thing didn't even start until 2? Does somebody need to give this woman a lesson on mealtimes?

After NeNe finally graced the remaining Housewives with her presence, a bunch of random women all came out of nowhere with margaritas and fajitas to celebrate the leopard brunch. Where were these women waiting, where did they come from and how do they know NeNe? The Rich Bitch must've been busy recruiting shoppers from Swagg to come to her on-camera event because none of the Housewives recognized any of these "entrepreneurs" that were allegedly NeNe's friends. Is she using her Bravo allowance to pay for friends now? Is that what we're doing? Anyway, NeNe gave a toast to "sisterhood" even though her recent behavior displays the polar opposite of that and all the women got along while they ate their nachos in peace.

The Real Housewives of Atlanta airs Sunday at 8/7c on Bravo! Stay tuned at Good Tea for our shady recaps and exclusive tea on our favourite Georgia peaches.

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