RHOA Recap: Fourth Wall Down
Everybody welcome back to Good Tea's first recap of 2021 and the first piece of writing I've published in about three months. I'm self-aware enough to know that my sudden and random absences are more annoying than Gizelle Bryant's fashion choices and that's why my goal for this year is to ensure that I deliver you with content for the next 265 days, as Porsha would say.
Atlanta was the first Housewives city I watched and for nine seasons it was the best show within the entire franchise, however, the last four seasons have definitely taken a downward turn. I'm not sure if it's due to NeNe's erratic behavior (and/or wig choices), a series of weird shakeups that never really work, or if it's simply because these women just don't bring the drama like they used to. However, although this season has had a slow start, I have hope these Georgia peaches will turn it around because nothing saves a season of Housewives like two cast members having a threesome with a stripper.
Whether it was Denise yelling Bravo, Bravo, Fucking Bravo, Dorinda losing her shit at the mention of Tinsley's name, or basically the entire last season of Potomac, every Housewives city has had their fair share of fourth-wall-breaking moments in the last year. Therefore it was only natural for the ATL women to jump on the fourth wall demolishing train. Kenya accused Cynthia of no longer wanting to get married on 10/10/2020 because she couldn't have a big wedding for the cameras.
A few years ago, the producers would've edited around Kenya's comments, however, just like 53 Cynt said the fourth wall has gone all the way down. Obviously, Cynthia wants to have a big wedding on TV for her storyline because if not, she would've chosen a day that was outside of their shooting schedule, but if she had done that she would've been fired just like Kenya. Yes, the producers may not have explicitly told Cynthia she had to get married this season but as a seasoned veteran, she knows if she doesn’t deliver a good storyline she could be on the chopping block, especially since Bravo has been ruthless in getting rid of long-standing Housewives left and right across the franchise.
On one hand yes, Cynthia knows she has to get married on TV, however, on the other, her wedding to Peter was more problematic than Kelly Dodd's political beliefs, so I truly think she does want to have a big wedding to celebrate with her family and friends. One thing Housewives never understand is that a wedding is for your friends and a marriage is for you and your husband, so I see no reason why CHill can't get married at Lake Bailey on 10/10/2020. Cynthia was originally set on this date because it was supposed to be about luck, but there's nothing lucky about having a superspreader wedding during a pandemic, which is exactly what 53 Cynt wound up doing.
I am so sick of hearing about this fucking 10/10/2020 wedding and if I have to sit through another scene where that is the focus I am going to run into oncoming traffic. Didn't Bravo learn anything from Jax and Brittany's Kentucky clusterfuck of a wedding? Wedding storylines suck, we already know how they end because we've seen the pictures in People Magazine, so sitting through weeks and weeks of wedding preparation is always more draining than Cynthia's sister's energy. Malorie has the liveliness of a COVID-ridden mouse, I mean you have to be really fucking boring to make Cynthia Bailey look like "the fun sister."
While Cynthia said 10/10/2020 on a loop, the new girl Drew attended marriage counseling with her husband in their backyard with some questionable personal protective equipment. I'm not a doctor, a scientist, or even an emotionally stable human being, but I am confused about how the face shields the cast members are wearing are considered a suitable form of PPE. Their mouths are literally exposed and these women constantly take them on and off. I'm not trying to throw any COVID shade and I'm just happy these masks are allowing this show to film, however, the PPE situation at Bravo doesn't make any sense.
Mask drama aside, Drew's marriage is a fucking mess. I don't know if she went on the show to get divorced, if she really wants to resolve things with her husband or if they're just faking it for the cameras, but I am mildly obsessed with their marriage struggle and Ralph's arms. Listen, Drew's husband Ralph is an egotistical dick, however, he's fine as fuck. Ralph should've been the stripper who (allegedly) pitted Porsha and Tanya's peaches because not only would that make the show even juicier but he definitely has the abs for it.
Although I may like Ralph's outsides, every time he opens his mouth I want to set my TV on fire and throw it out the window. We only just met this couple so I don't have too many thoughts on their relationship, however, I’m still confused about who and what he did in Tampa for three days. These two obviously hate each other and my prediction is that they'll be divorced within two years. Ralph's love language is gaslighting and Drew is completely over her husband's manipulative ways. These two have had a shaky marriage for years which we all know is never good when mixed with reality television, well, it's good for us but horrible for them.
To me, Ralph thinks if he leaves for days on end without saying anything it will manipulate Drew into doing what he wants because that's what happened with his mother. He left and she apologized but Ralph needs to understand that he isn't married to his mom and that mysteriously fleeing to Tampa for three days isn't the answer. In fact, Tampa is never the answer. Ever. This couple is the perfect example of why you don't get married after six months of dating.
To end the episode, Porsha's sister Lauren decided to throw a party to celebrate her Black Lives Matter activism, but of course, there was still some sort of drama attached to it. Lauren and her raspy voice uninvited Kenya to the event two hours before it began because she didn't want Miss Twirl to potentially ruin Porsha's celebration which is both logical and annoying. Yes, Kenya has ruined almost every event she's ever been invited to, however, the Black Lives Matter movement is about unity so everyone should've been there. Especially because this cast hasn't been in the same room all season and we are already four episodes in.
Kenya was going to give Porsha's daughter a Rosa Parks doll for her late birthday present which is the perfect gift for this occasion, however, as soon as she found out she was no longer welcome, Kenya's inner bitch came out and she started questioning Porsha's true motives behind becoming an activist.
I love Porsha’s activism work and she’s definitely doing it out of the goodness of her heart because she believes in the cause, however, these women are always self-producing in the back of their minds. Porsha knows if she takes this activism route that it will help her image and make her the fan-favorite of the season. However, when you consider all the awareness this storyline will bring to the Black Lives Matter movement, does it really matter if a part of her may or may not be doing it for her own selfish gain?
Because of their history, Kenya has an innate distrust in Porsha, especially due to all the fake storylines she’s given us over the years, so it makes sense why she’s skeptical of Porsha’s motives. Kenya has a right to question all these things and she also has a right to be pissed about being uninvited just after getting her hair and makeup done, which I hope Bravo paid for because that's the real travesty in all of this.
Last season Porsha and Kenya finally became friends and when you consider the facts, it's Porsha's fault they are no longer in a good place. As soon as she and NeNe made up, she crawled up the Rich Bitch's ass and started fighting with Kenya at the Zoom-union for no good reason, but I guess their beef may be the one thing to actually save the show this season. In Kenya's absence her new bicurious crush, LaToya, tried to be messy by asking another newbie, Falynn, about marrying an older man. LaToya is trying way too hard to get camera time this season with all her shady comments, however, I appreciate what she's giving us because it's definitely more authentic than Tanya pretending she doesn't know how to put gas in her car.
Porsha's surprise BLM event was so cute and it's amazing to think she went from believing the underground railroad was an actual train to eating jailhouse mystery meat to keep Breonna Taylor's name alive. Porsha gave a speech at her event and her preacher's voice came all the way out because she knows how to give a motivating speech. Porsha's old preacher days coupled with her grandfather's civil rights work make Porsha the perfect person to be leading and helping this cause. Snaps for Porsha Luther King!