RHOC Season 15 Taglines Revealed!
If I already wasn't dreading the upcoming season of The Real Housewives of Orange County, these taglines definitely didn't help. The fact that Bravo thought this is an acceptable cast of women is disgusting and with Kovid Dodd as the reigning HBIC of this show it's going to go down the tubes faster than you can say WOO HOO.
Let's break these taglines down below!
Kelly Dodd: "Don't judge me by what I do, in fact, just don't judge me at all."
Um, Kovid, I don't know if anyone told you but you're on a reality show so it's literally your job to be judged by people you don't know. I judge Kelly by what she does, what she says, how she dresses, who she fucks, how she acts during a global pandemic and I'm not fucking impressed. If you don't want to be judged maybe don't be such an intolerable, ignorant asshole?
Braunwyn Windham-Burke: "Cheers to bad choices! Then making better ones."
Going into this season Brown Wind is literally the only Housewife I can stand, however, this tagline makes me want to drink bleach and throw it back up. See, a bad decision followed by a better one. In all seriousness Braunwyn's one liner is cute but it's not one I'll remember in five years, let alone five minutes.
Gina Kirschenheiter: “Those who live in small houses should definitely throw stones."
What the fuck does this even mean? I guess someone makes fun of the place Gina stores her hideous hair extensions or as she refers to it: her home. I don't know why she's throwing stones but I hope she's throwing fists because a good ole fashioned Housewives punch on is probably the only thing that could save this season.
Emily Simpson: "Life is full of beautiful curves and so am I."
Shut up Emily, just shut the fuck up. Is this really the best she could come up with? This tagline is more boring than Emily's personality. Yes, she's curvy and yes, life has curveballs (global pandemic anyone?) but this tagline makes my nipples ache in pain.
Elizabeth Vargas: "I earned my money the old-fashioned way, marrying it then making more."
Finally a tagline that doesn't make me want to run into oncoming traffic. I love a queen who can admit to marrying a rich guy and using his bank account to fund her business. I don't know what to expect from Liz but if she gives us this energy for the entire season then I think she may become the second person on the cast I can stand to look at.
Shannon Beador: “I've closed the old Bea-door and opened a new one."
I'm sure David is thrilled about this. Shannon's delivery of this tagline makes me want to open a Bea-door and slam my fingers into it. Shannon has tried to reinvent her life more times than Joan Rivers reinvented her face and its exhausting. Didn't she close that old Bea-door like three years ago? Normally I love a self referential tagline but this one just isn't it.
Who's tagline is your favourite? Sound off in the comments!